As I stated before I am working on a stained glass project and so far it is....Let me put it this way:
ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHH!
I have realized I am suffering from low morale and I may have to break out the chocolate I have been hiding from the kids to make myself feel better. I love art, but it does not always love me back. Who knew a piece of glass could be a brick wall?
Sorry about the slow posting, I am here, just distracted.
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8 comments:
Been missing you, Christy. And wondering. You never let things defeat you. Bring out the chocolate. Do something else. Go back to the glass after chocolate and other loves are indulged. You'll win. You always do. But the indulgences are vital to the whole scheme of things in the world. And sometimes they must come first. They are the things that nourish the spirit.
Oh, I have been defeated a few times.
If I could sleep that would help more than the chocolate. There is nothing like constantly being awake to break you down.
I am going to the doctor on the 4th though. I am hoping this doctor will not be as unhelpful as all the other doctors I wind up with, but it is probably best not to hope.
I swear if one more doctor offers me a prescription for anti depressants I am going to just flip out and start screaming.
I am sick of mentally lazy butchers.
I have not slept in years.
Sometimes I really do think I will never rest again until I am dead.
Christy
I think it's a horrible idea to go on meds and live off of them for the rest of one's life.
Not only do the psych meds merely cover the symptoms rather than curing them, but taking psych meds will label you "mentally unstable" - enough to deny you health insurance in most states of the US.
What I'm learning in Seoul, with my meditation/qi studies, is that mental illness reflects an issue of another part of your body as well. A good brain chemistry requires the brain to be attached to a good body, so that it can supply the brain properly.
The goal should be to take your body as an integrated system rather than a sum of its parts, and treat not only your brain, but whatever body part that's negatively affecting it too.
I'll tell you this. Until three months ago, I took tons of psych meds, if only because W's puppets had chosen to lock me up in a mental hospital around 9/11 as a political prisoner. Guess what - they didn't work. They only slowed my creativity and intelligence down. The qi treatments are doing much more for me than those expensive meds ($350/mo) ever did.
Stay well, Christy. We're all rooting for you. Looking forward to you and your continuing art - including Kwan Yin in a pink mini and a double-female symbol necklace. :)
Formerly Ally McLesbian
I will not go on psych meds. no worries darlin. i won't take them. I refuse to take them.
I don't need them or want them.
But they sure do try to get me on them.
I am not going to the doctor to find out what is wrong with me. I already know what the problem is. I am going in the hopes of finding one doctor who will FINALLY listen to me and actually try to apply the proper treatment instead of just trying to get kickbacks on meds I don't need and can't use.
Get this.. My mom, she starts curling up, her bones, crippling pain. She has to wait for 3 months to get a doctor visit.
she gets in and this stupid doctor has no idea what her test results said because she did not even bother to know there were supposed to be test results.
So my mom is sitting there and is basicaly in tears, wanting to know what is wrong and desperate for treatment.
That goddamned doctor tells my mom, 'Well, you seem DEPRESSED'
And gave her a script for antideppressants and coated asperin.
For what is most likely RHUMATIOD arthritis.
She is STILL not being treated for niether the disease nor the pain.
My dog has rhumatiod arthritis. I got him treatment in 20 minutes for less than 200 bucks.
If my mother were a FUCKING DOG...
Ok.. I just went wayyyyy off whatever it was I was trying to say.
Fuck!
God they PISS ME OFF...
I need a good doctor, but I swear to God there is not a doctor in this country I trust.
Just knowing I am most likly going to die from something treatable...
Watching my mother become crippled, from a treatable illness...
If not for medical bills me and my man both would have PERFECT credit. Perfect.
Sometimes I really am ashamed of how this nation has left behind the poor, and the sick. So much money for war but my mother has to wither through every day.
We can find people to bomb halfway around the world, but no one here can get decent medical treatment.
My DOG can get better care than my KIDS.
It is utterly inexcusable and shameful.
Christy
Sorry to hear about your mom. At least she can take solace (even though it *IS* an insult to say it, I have to say it for lack of a better expression) in that she's not alone.
It's easier to insure a dog than a human being. Seriously. No insurer ever wants to insure me - a political prisoner under W.
I'll tell you one more thing from Seoul. The medical establishment here, like the rest of the South Korean establishment, doesn't recognize anything that its superiors in the US doesn't recognize. You'd think the Koreans would have an appreciation for alternative medicine - and they surely do. Except at the government level. Any doctor who tries to recommend alternative medicine WILL have his/her license revoked.
Based on the little that I know, the medical system here is as f*cked up as the American one. The only difference is that there is a national insurer willing to cover all eligible uninsureds (Koreans + foreigners with work permits), and that if I change my visa status from a "visitor" to an "immediate descendant of a Korean," even I can get that health insurance. And doctors do charge less than in the US. BUT... the rest of the South Korean healthcare system is as much of a joke as the US system.
Ally McRepuke
That is the thing though Ally.
My dogs don't have insurance, and even though they are pure breeds and AKC registered.
The whole idea of 'insurance' is totally stupid.
That industry did not even exist until about 70 years ago and now they control EVERYTHING. When i was a kid, people did not have 'insurance'. We went to the doc, it was expensive but it was still affordable and you could get good care. I could afford now to pay out of pocket for medical attention, IF they had not jacked up the price of it beyond any reasonable ability for average people to pay.
My man has GREAT insurance, and can't even get proper medical help.
How stupid is that to have 'insurance' against medical problems?
100% of the population is going to die and break down. You can not insure against MEDICAL PROBLEMS.
Everybody has them, everyone will need a doctor.
I get fire insurance. Ok my house MIGHT burn down. Or it MIGHT flood, Or a tornado MIGHT blow everything apart.
And IF it does happen, yes, insurance is good.
But, there is a 100% chance I am going to get sick, get old, and die. There is a 100% chance so are you and our mommas and our daddys and our brothers sisters children grandparents so on and so on.
IF I get sick... HELL NO.. that is just dumb and I get so annoyed when people talk about it in those terms. IF?... no.... WHEN... WHEN.
People have been brainwashed by corporations into selling them crap they do not need and can not use. They have created industry after industry of middlemen all cutting services to get bigger profits.
On some things I can tolerate that, but on healthcare, it makes me more and more angry every damn day.
As far as I am concerned every single medical insurer in this country should be run out of the country. Shut down. Put out of bussiness.
Medical insurance is a fraud, a scam, and a joke. The very concept of it is a fraud.
It is THEM creating a profit driven healthcare system and those greedy bastards would rather watch us all die then spend a dime to help anyone.
I dislike doctors and resent phamacies who are jacking up the price of meds by 300%, but it is the freaking insurance companies that are THE PROBLEM in our healthcare system.
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